What Have You Been Telling Yourself You Can’t Do?

Jack Canfield told the story on how he was a student at one of Tony Robbins' seminars, one where he was required to walk on fire. He thought he couldn’t do it because he was convinced he would burn himself. Well, he summoned the courage to do it, the outcome was that he didn’t burn himself. So he then started to analyze the following question, what else have I been telling myself that I can’t do? Once he got the questions and answers, he started doing them.  How awesome is that! He wrote a book regarding the act of asking, The Aladdin Factor.

He referenced another story, he said he was getting ready to do a television appearance and the makeup artist was preparing him for TV. He then asked her, what is your dream? She said, “I want to own my own salon one day.” He then proceeded to ask, “What are you doing to reach that goal?” After a few seconds she said, “Nothing.”

I bet that for the exception of maybe a few of you out there, you are in the same spot as the makeup artist. You have a goal­­­—a dream you want to achieve, but you are doing zero toward it. And, the problem may be that you didn’t even realize it. You might not have known that your desires are solely living in your head, and that in order to achieve them, you actually need to plan, and take action. Don’t worry though, I’m here to help you get started. The following are few steps that can help you identify and then tackle what you want.

·         First: Identify and list all the lies you’ve been telling yourself that you could never do

·         Second: Identify why you want the things that are on your list

·         Third: Decide which one you’re going to do first

 

·         Fourth: Device a plan of action

 

·         Fifth: Everyday, do at least one thing on your action plan

Now, don’t just read this and go about your marry-way. Really listen and do it, if you do, there is NO WAY you won’t reach your desired goals.

Till Next Time!

How to Make Sure You Don't Miss Out On Your Life

I’m sure that you’ve heard people say how important it is to live in the now; if you haven’t, well you’re in luck, I’m about to summarize it for y’all. 

In Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now he explores the very subject of living in the now, and the power and freedom that come with it. If you’re confused as to exactly what I’m referring to, I’ll use the same example that most people use when trying to explain this topic. Have you ever driven to work, or school, or anywhere, but you don’t remember how you got there? Well that my friends, is a prime example of living anywhere else, but in the now.

 

Realizing that most of my life is lived just as the example suggests, I decided to try a new approach. I went for a walk the other day, and instead of thinking about the million things I think about, I decided to just focus on my walk, on what was happening right before me, and what I found was peace. I discovered that this business of "being in the now" is simply another form of meditation… (so for all those who claim you can’t meditate, try being in the now).  My mind became clear from clutter, and the headache that was threating to take over my day, disappeared without having to take a single pill. I know this is going to sound a bit fufu and out there, but here it goes anyway. On my walk,  I actually paid attention and I listened to the birds chirping. I heard the wind rustle the leaves. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, fully allowing relaxation to be part of my walk.  I felt, really felt the wind against my face, and it felt amazing. But most importantly, I thought of nothing, and it felt great. 

 

















After this simple exercise I asked myself, am I never in the now? Am I really that distracted that I’m missing my entire life because I’m consumed with thoughts of the past or the future? Well, unfortunately the answer is yes, as I fear will be the same for you. But I also realized this, that for those brief moments when I have actually managed to be in the now, those are the moments that have created my perception of life.  For example, when I’m writing, I think of nothing else except for what I’m writing about. When I’m spending time with my family, usually, I’m listening to their conversations, I’m absorbing our time together because I am keenly aware that I our time together is limited. Those two things have become precious things in my life. For you, it may be something else. It may be that when you’re running you really pay attention to your stride, the way your feet hit the pavement, not so smooth that time, so you adjust (this means you're present).  Living in the present promises a better quality of life. A life that you won’t miss. A life that you were an active party in. A life where you count your blessings everyday because you are deeply aware of all that you have.

So starting today, if you’re stirring the pot, just stir the pot.
 

Till Next Time!

How Tired Are You Of Hearing About The Latest Diet Fads?

How tired are you of hearing about the latest diet fads? Stop eating sugar, no, stop eating meat, no, stop eating bread! Wait; stop eating fats, processed or fried foods! UGH (that’s me doing a tiny, but very powerful scream). The internet and the people around you are filled with conflicting advice on how to lose weight and get fit.

When do you say enough is enough? Today is the day because when it’s all said and done, it all comes down to this.  

• Stop dieting and stop saying that you’re going to cut things from your diet or that you only eat this or that.

Although this may come across as just another diet advice, it is not. It is a way of freeing you from the pressure of dieting.  If you are looking to live a healthy lifestyle, then the very first thing you need to do is to listen to your body. Our body is always telling us what we should and shouldn’t eat. The problem is that we don’t listen.  Instead, we listen to what’s worked for other people. For example, you see your next door neighbor has lost a ton of weight and she looks amazing. Then, you find out she stopped eating bread so you assume this will also work for you. However, you may not realize that your neighbor had a Gluten allergy and therefore bread was literally making her sick. She listened to her body and stopped eating bread (Gluten) and she is now at her perfect and comfortable weight. But, perhaps you should also note that she has not stopped eating cupcakes, filled with sugar, but instead eats one that is Gluten free.

The recommendation is to keep a food journal, and with this, I actually agree. But I would go a step further, not only should you write down what you eat, but you should also write down how you feel before and after. Examples of things to look for are, did you develop indigestion, or a headache, or did you become extremely fatigued or even irritable after your meal. Once you start seeing a pattern develop, (for better or worse) you will start seeing how your body is speaking to you, begging you for either a change of food, or more of a certain food. If you listen, your ultimate diet goal will be achieved, whether it’s to lose or gain weight. When you take this approach you will start noticing how easy it is to give up the things you once thought you couldn’t live without. For years the only beverage I enjoyed was coke. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that the only thing I drank was coke, no water, no juice… Then, one day I started to notice how sick coke was making me feel, I could barely eat my food because as I was trying to swallow, the gasses from the coke kept coming up. Needless to say, I listened to my body and I am happy to report that for nearly three years I have stopped drinking coke and now I only drink water. My body thanks me. 

However, there is one thing that none of us can escape from, and that is, exercise. Guys, whether you like to or not, exercising is the best thing you can do for your body. No matter your age, you would be doing yourself a great service by taking at least 30 minutes a day to move your body.  Your 70 year-old self will thank you for it.

Till Next Time!

What Does Each Person In Your Life Represent?

Have you ever wondered why some people remain in your life and others seem to fade out. Well, I have a thought about this.

As you know, I am an advocate for the belief, that what we think about on a constant basis, shows up in our physical reality (thoughts become things).

I believe this applies to everything that we have in our life, but for simplification purposes, I will provide examples using people.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you’re having a constant thought (which then turns into a feeling) of not being good enough. Well, the more you think like this, the stronger the feeling becomes.  And, if you sustain this feeling for a prolonged length of time, that feeling may appear in your physical reality as a person that does not treat you right. This person could be someone you know on a personal level, or on a professional level. But know this, the minute you start valuing yourself, and believing that you are good enough, that person has no choice but to either change the way they treat you, or, literally disappear from your life (thoughts become things).

I believe this is the reason why some people come and go from our lives. Every person in our life represents a small part of us—or rather a part of the thoughts and feelings we carry with us. This is precisely why they say you can’t change other people, if you don’t like how you are being treated then you must be the one to change.

Do yourself a favor and prove it to yourself. Take a look at the people in your life and discover how each one of them represents a small portion of the thoughts you carry with you.  Additionally, look back through your life, at a time when you were experiencing some emotion/problem. Then, think back to who was in your life at that time, at that point, try to identify how that person represented that very emotion/problem. Finally, recognize how once you were able to move past that emotion/problem, that person either changed along with you, or they simply disappeared from your every day life.

Till Next time

 

 

Why Should You Celebrate Even The Smallest of Successes?

Have you ever started working on improving yourself, only to quit after a few weeks? This could be because you were seeing little to no progress. The fact is, changes WERE happening, but you were so focused on the finished product that you missed the small, but oh so meaningful progress you were making.

Since it’s still January, and most of us are still somewhat motivated to sticking with our diet’s and exercise routine, I’ll encourage you to do one simple thing daily.

NOTICE every small change you make that moves you in the direction of your ultimate goal.

For example, if your goal is to make healthier lifestyle choices this year, and today, you took the stairs instead of the elevator, notice it. CELEBRATE; give yourself a high five for having made a different choice, a better choice.  By noticing, it makes you more aware of the things that you do that are on autopilot. For instance, you may not realize that you take the elevator every time you go in and out of your office building, or residence. NOTICING, makes you more alert and more aware. Soon, when you’re presented with the option of elevator or stairs, you will consciously choose the stairs, no more autopilot. This small feat will be just another important piece of the puzzle that moves you toward your goal.

So starting today celebrating all your accomplishments, no matter how small, and I guarantee you will start SEEING results!

Till Next Time!

What Do You Know For Sure?

Last week I started and finished Oprah’s book, What I Know For Sure. Since then, I’ve been asking myself that same question; what I found, was pretty interesting.

Oprah say’s that what you know for sure should stand the test of time. This shouldn’t be something you know today, but next month you change your mind about it. With this in mind, I went inward continually asking, What Do I Know For Sure?

In my search I realized that my response did not have to be something we collectively agree on, but rather what I believed to be true. It had to be something that in my heart of hearts would never change. So here it goes, this is what I know for sure:

1. I know for sure that being a mother is the greatest honor of my life. My children inspire me, motivate me and make me want to be better.
2. I know for sure that music is one of the best expressions of art there is. Music is also beautiful, inspiring and motivating.
3. And finally, I know for sure, that at the end of the day, no matter what, if there ever comes a time where I’m in agony over a heart-wrenching life problem, I will always turn to God.

So far my list is short but I know it will grow. Once I asked the question, it took no time at all for the answers to reveal itself.

Try it for yourself, ask, What You Know For Sure, and you’ll be amazed by what shows up. No matter what age you are, chances are, there is at least one thing you know for sure. Doing this, I believe grounds you in some way. There is something about proclaiming your truth. Something about knowing you are unwavering in a particular area of your life.

I know my list will grow, and I look forward to discovering the many things I know for sure.

 

How To Get Out Of A Funk

Okay, although I do my best to motivate each of you, sometimes, I need encouragement too. Yesterday was one of those days. I can’t explain what was wrong with me except for that I felt sad for no reason. I was feeling so down that I was even drawing sad faces on post-it notes. I tried listening to motivational teachers to jolt me back into a happy space, but it wasn't working. Nothing was resonating with me, and I couldn't focus on any of it. I’d start listening to something, then, I’d push it aside and start another, only to stop it mid way through. 

So what was up? Honestly, I’m still not sure. But, I do know this. After a couple hours of feeling badly, I took matters into my own hands and refused to let it linger, and what I found was this:

Once again I received validation that being in a state of contentment does not come from outside of me. I cannot rely on others to make me “feel” a certain way. Instead, I confirmed that I have everything I need to feel better.

How did I realize this? By asking myself a series of questions, what makes me happy? What makes time fly and truly fill me with joy? First thing that came up for me, was being with my family... well, because I was at work, I couldn't be with them. I couldn't just pick up and leave and have a free day. So, I kept going. What else makes me happy? Writing does. And so I decided to write. I know I was at work, but I had to do something, I was in a funk and I was falling fast into a not so good place. By asking the question and then following through with what I knew was going to make me feel better, I finally did. My mood started shifting from one of sadness to one of purposefulness and excitement.

I tell you this because I know we all go through these moments, but most of us don’t know how to snap out of it. Often times, instead of seeking for a solution, we simply accept the way we’re feeling day after day until we finally end up in some form of depression. I want to give you at least one tool to use if ever you find yourself as I did yesterday. The next time you’re feeling off, try it for yourself,  go inward, ask yourself, when are you the happiest, if it’s being home binging on your favorite TV show, and you can do it, then do it. My point is, take charge of your life, your thoughts and your happiness, by doing so you will always have access to contentment, no matter what your circumstances are.