If Not Now, When!

I watched a clip of Oprah Winfrey announcing that she is joining Weight Watchers, further declaring that every moment of her life has not been wasted and that each time she tried and failed has led her to this moment in her life where she is asking; if not now, when?

So dear readers, as another year comes to a close, I ask that you take stock of your life. Take with you all the great memories you’ve made, and leave behind those that don’t serve you. But most of all, have a full understanding that if you tried to make a change this year in any area of your life, but you didn’t succeed (by your standards) all is not lost. Whether you can see it or not, progress was made. A seed was planted. Now it is time to cultivate. Reassess your goals, set deadlines and make an action plan that will lunge you straight into seeing results. Because if not now, then when?

In my own life I have accomplished things this year that at one point I thought I never would:

• I got one of my degrees (something I started over 20 years ago)
• I started my own business
• Being healthy and active is now a regular part of my life, not something I wish for
• I completed my 2^nd novel, and got feedback from literary agents (this one, I’m especially proud of. I’ve only been writing since 2009 and when I send my queries out my heart is my throat. So when I finally get feedback, when they actually request my manuscript, words cannot express the relief and joy I feel at knowing that I am growing. I am changing. I am progressing.)

The constant thing I have done throughout this entire year is that I look for ways to get inspired daily. I have to learn, to listen to others advise, to their thoughts, to their own journey in this life. I am constantly learning and getting motivated. So I hope that this year, and years to come, my blog is that place for you. A place where you can come get inspired and get a fire under your butt that will get you to live YOUR VERY BEST LIFE.  As I usually do, I will ask you to take the challenge of taking your life into your own hands, and take whatever steps necessary to reach your goals, because if not now, then when?

Till Next Time.

 

BE WHO YOU ARE: Accept no substitutes!!!

A thought has been swirling in my head for some time now. Typically, it pops in my head when I see someone doing what they love to do.

I used to sit back in complete awe when watching people doing what they love. Wondering over and over how they got to be so successful… or, thinking wow, look how lucky THEY are... But now, the thought has been replaced with this. When I see someone doing what they “want” to do professionally—whether it is singing, dancing, writing, acting, (can you tell what my interests’ are?) I know that the reason they have achieved success is because they are just being who they are! “What?” You say…

Think about it this way. Who are you? Are you that nine to fiver that sits at her cubicle all day just watching time pass by? Or, are you this vibrant being, one that IS a writer, a chef, a teacher? The easiest and fastest way to start being that person is to simply BE WHO YOU ARE. Accept no substitutes!!!

Often times, this is referred to as “fake it till you make it.” But the truth is you don’t have to fake it. Just be! Just believe you are that person, and then you are! As an example, I’ll provide this: let us say you want to be a pastry chef, but you barely have time to bake because you are stuck at your job all day, then you get home and have to take care of your family. Overtime, you begin to take on the identity of an employee with a stable job and benefits, with weekends and holidays off. This is now your life and worse of all, who you identify yourself as being. HOWEVER, if you decide that this is not who you are. That this is not the life you came to live. Then you will soon discover NEW ways to start doing the things you love. A note to remember: just because you’re not getting paid, it does not mean that you are not that person.  Money is not the approval stamp that determines who you are.  

However, in continuing with the above example, if someone were to ask you, so what do you do? Your answer should ALWAYS be “I’m a pastry chef.” Because once you believe it, miracles will start heading your way. That very person that asked what you do, can connect you with someone that will meet your financial needs. This is something that would have NEVER happened had you said, “I work for so and so.” Yuk!! Get those words out of your mouth and start being WHO YOU ARE. There is no other person you should be.

 Till Next Time!

Jeff Olson’s The Slight Edge, Insight Into Why You Don't Achieve Results

I started reading Jeff Olson’s The Slight Edge and his ideas are refreshing in that he provides a new outlook on how to truly make a change. When it comes to making life changes, you’ve heard it before, we all say the same things, however, Olson tells us that the problem is not that we don’t know “how to do it”—God knows we are inundated with “how to” materials. The problem is, in simple terms the “Slight Edge.”

He provides examples such as, let us say we have two people, one chooses to eat a pizza for lunch, the other a salad. In the immediate, there is no change, one is not suddenly more healthy, and the other more unhealthy. However, overtime, these types of choices is what gives the person eating healthy the slight edge. That person, overtime, will be healthier and look better, while the other person will not.

The problem is not that we don’t know “how” to do it; it is that we don’t do it. Partly to blame is the fact that we live in world that wants everything NOW, results now. Money now. Perfect body now. Happy marriage now.  However, that is not possible, especially if you want to attain AND sustain true AND lasting results. We must plant, cultivate and harvest. The problem, says Olsen, is that most of us want to skip the cultivating period.

I could not agree more. It is the little things you do moment by moment that ultimately creates you! Will you spend your money on the slots, or will you invest so that money can grow? Will you eat that sneakers bar or will reach for the apple instead? You may not see the result that day, or even the next. But one thing is guaranteed, when you cultivate what you’ve planted, results are inevitable.

So what will you plant? The dream of purchasing your first home? Finally getting the health and body you’ve been wanting? Whatever it is, just remember this, change is happening, even if you can’t see it yet.

 

Till Next Time!

What Direction are You Moving In?

Did you know that we are always moving in the direction that causes us less pain? You say what??

I know what you’re thinking, “nope! That’s definitely not true because every day I go to my god-awful dead-end job, which is most definitely causing me pain. If that were true, then I’d be moving in the direction of my dream job instead of my job.”

Well hold on now…   I don’t disagree that you may perceive your situation as painful. But the truth is that no matter how painful your “job” may be, something in your perception of your dream job is actually MORE painful than your current job/situation.  "An example please?” you say. “Well of course.”

Let us take the above example. You hate your job and you want to quit and start your own business. So why aren’t you just moving in the direction of starting your business, or why don’t you have it already? One reason could be because even though you HATE your job (pain) the thought of the instability that comes with starting your business is more painful. Therefore, as long as you have that belief you will NEVER achieve your goal of starting your own business.

“So what do I do?” you say desperately.

“Glad you asked?”

Here are three steps to help get clear:

1.      Identify: Analyze your wants and desires, is there an area in your life that you constantly struggle with and can’t seem to get it right, maybe it’s your career or your exercise regimen or your love life. Whatever it is, you first have to get clear.

2.      Get real: Now that you have decided what you want to improve, now it’s time to understand why you don’t have it. What is the “story” you have been telling yourself about why you can’t or don’t have “it.” For example, if you find yourself writing down, I’m out of shape because I have no time to exercise; now you know why you are out of shape, because in your eyes, you literally have no time.

3.      Change your story: Here’s where the magic happens, in sticking with the above example, tell yourself this, I have all the time I need to fit-in my exercise routine so that I can accomplish my desired goal.

If you’re getting some mental resistance on step 3, think about it this way. Really?? You have noooooo time? There is no way you have noooooo time. In reality, you are choosing to have no time. You can wake up 30 minutes earlier, or don’t watch your favorite TV show, or don’t take your full one hour lunch, instead split it, walk for 30 eat for 30. You see, where there’s a will, there a way.

My point is this, when doing the above steps you should not lie to yourself, during these steps you should acknowledge the lies/stories that have been preventing you from having the life you want. By doing so, you will move past the excuses and right into results.

Till Next Time!

"Year of Yes" Shonda Rhimes- A pledge we should all take!

I recently read the newly released book by Shonda Rhimes “Year of Yes”. Rhimes is the creator and writer of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal” and “How to Get Away with Murder.” I was so inspired and motivated by her story that I just had to share.

It never occurred to me that someone the likes of Shonda Rhimes, having three of the most popular televisions programs on air at this time, struggled with self-confidence, among many other things. She was shy, introverted and never said yes to anything. She begins by recalling what ultimately led to her “Year of Yes”. She was in the kitchen with her sister reciting all the invitations she had received to speak here and there, when her sister asked, “Well, are you going to go?” to where Rhimes responded by saying “Well of course not.” In her mind, that was obvious, after all, she had things to take care of, her kids, her home, not to mention that she had three TV programs to run. This left her sister uttering six little words that would change the course of Shonda’s life, “You never say YES to anything.”

Her sister’s words haunted her days after, and so she decided to take action; Shonda decided that for the next year she was going to say YES to everything! Following through 100%, Shonda said good-bye to her fear of public speaking, she said hello to making time for her kids, which included not working on the weekends and turning off her phone after 7pm, and she said good-bye to 127 lbs.

She has said that she is not the same person following the “Year of Yes,” a practice she is upholding even now, after “her year” is over.

The take away here is the same as always, look inward. In what ways are you like Shonda. In what ways have you been saying no to things that could ultimately, drastically change your life? If you know exactly what that is, then do as she has done, and start saying yes because the result could be life altering, in the best way possible.

This is my new pledge for the upcoming year, to say yes to everything that scares me. Like Rhimes, I have an incredible fear of public speaking, which I believe is holding me back professionally. I know that once I release that fear, opportunities will start to flood my way, and I can’t wait! So take the challenge, begin now, or prep up for the start of 2016 and decide that this will be the year that your life will change!

Till Next Time!

 

 

Is This All There Is To Life?

Have you ever asked yourself, is this it? Is this all there is? Is this the best I have to offer? If you have, most definitely the answer to that question is no, it is not “it”.

Often times we feel guilty for even asking the above questions because a lot of us are considered to be the “lucky” ones. After all, we have our health, a happy family, money, and and…. the list could go on and on. However, just because you want more does not mean that you are taking all those amazing things you already have for granted. It simply means that you are ready to expand and add to your life.

It is in our nature to move through time yearning for progress, and questioning what we have or how far we’ve come is our soul’s attempt to wake us up, to alert us that as long as we are here, we are not done. Some of us seek to progress in our careers, or in our personal relationships or simply progress as a human being. There’s no reason to feel guilty over this. You can have an immense gratitude for your life and for the people in it, and still want more. Your desire to want “more” will never stop, so might as well stop the struggle and lean into it.

There are three simple steps you can take starting today that will help get you going:

1.    Stop the Guilt: Freely ask, seek, and go for what you want without feeling badly about it. After all, you have what you have now (love, money, career) because at some point you decided you wanted those things. In the same way, ask now, guilt free.

2.     Make a small change: If you want to see a difference in your life then you MUST do something different, either by way of thinking differently or by taking action. Trust this, as long as you are doing the same thing day after day, nothing will change.

3.      Decide: it is imperative that your decision to take action is non-negotiable. You must commit that you will make one small change each day until you reach your set goal. You will know if you’re serious about your decision, if you stick with it. Tony Robins puts it this way, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”

Most of the time, the above questions stem from some monotony that is occurring in our lives, for example, you wake up each day at the same time, drive to work the same way, go to lunch at the same place, go to bed at the same time. Routines such as these dull the soul and your purpose here on earth. Don’t get stuck, don’t wear blinders in this life time or you just might miss the best life you could have lived.

 Till Next Time!

 

How to Tackle the Impossible Task

Have you ever had a major “must do” that you’ve been avoiding because you can’t possibly imagine how it is going to get done? Yeah. Me too...

However, if you were lucky enough to successfully come out on the other side of that dilemma, I hope that you discovered one thing. That no matter how difficult a task may be, the only way to get through it is to do it. To take action. I am certain that while you were in that moment, working toward the completion of the given task, you had several thoughts along the way.

1.       It’s not as hard as I thought

2.       I can’t believe I’m actually doing it

3.       I can’t believe I did it

There is no bigger satisfaction than to tackle what once seemed unattackable (not a word, but it’s okay) and better yet, to have destroyed it! (in a good way).

Those experiences should serve as huge reminders for you as you charge after your big goals. This is how everyone else who has reached major goals has done it. The big minds of the world didn’t accomplish life changing things because they thought it was easy. They accomplished their goal because they knew that on the other side of their uncertainty greatness awaited.

So if you’re in the middle of something that you want to tackle, whether it’s starting a new business or cleaning out your closet, I have two tips to help you get a move-on.

1.       First, decide that you will do it. This is non-negotiable.

2.       Second, take action. No matter what, do not do another thing until you start right then taking action. If you want to start a business but you have no idea where to start, then your action could be “researching” your topic. If it’s cleaning out your closet, start with one piece of clothing at a time.

That’s it! How simple is that. Once you decide that you will do it NO MATTER WHAT, and you take the first step, something magical happens. Ideas you didn’t have suddenly pop in your head. And where you first thought “there’s no way” a way will be made. Before you know it, it will be done.

I don’t know the exact science behind this miraculous process, all I know is that it works. You just have to decide you will and the rest will follow.

Till next time!