How to Stop Worrying!

Stop thinking only of yourself! Do for others!  You've heard it said more than a few times, right?

But I must confess, this is so hard. Not that I don't care for others, the environment, important causes and so on and so on but... I'm so overly distracted by my own needs that I forget to do the very thing that ensures I will move far away from my problems.

So how to do it? You just do it. 

Every single time you start to worry about ANYTHING, shift your focus!  I mean, even as simple as getting up and doing something for your husband, for you kids, for your mom, for a friend. That alone will move you from a place of "self" right into a place of "service."

Maybe at the beginning it will seem a little fake and a bit pushed, but this is what the experts say we must do in order to free ourselves of worry and/or push our goals into fast gear.

They--the experts, say that one once you take the focus off yourself and you put it on others, in helping them in some way, it magically fuels your goals/desires to super speed.

Rhonda Byrne puts it this way, think of your dreams, goals or desires as a rocket, however, a rocket can't go anywhere without "fuel."

Well, when you serve and/or do for others that's the fuel that launches your desires into action, and therefore, manifestation happens at rapid speed.

So let's do this, lets try it. The next time we are stressed over anything, lets take the focus off of us, and immediately put it on someone else, and lets see what happens. It's a win-win. You will stop worrying and at the same time you are helping someone else.

If you like, you can leave me a comment on what your results were.

Till next time!

Now What? What to do now that the kids are gone?

What to do now that the kids are gone? Do you ever ask yourself this question? 

Recently it's been on my mind. Although I'm not exactly an empty-nester-- yet, I'm real darn close and it's kinda sad.

For the last 21 years our entire life has revolved around our kids, and now that they're all grown up, it's really hard to let go. But I do find comfort in one thing, which is why I'm writing this post today. I want to remind all you parents who still have little ones, or are planning on having kids, to make sure you do the following.

1. Enjoy every minute you have with your kids, spend time with them and really be present in the moment. We always did this, and I think this is why I have no regrets. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I really did enjoy every minute of their lives from birth to today. 

2. Don't forget about yourself though.

Yeah.  Be a great mom or dad, be there always! But, don't forget about the woman or man that you are. You are far more than just a mother or father. If you forget about yourself, and revolve your entire life around your kid's next event, when they no longer need you, it will hit you like a rock! And trust me, the day will come when they have their own car and they will drive to football practice, dance class, or whatever activity you raised them in. 

Anyway, I think the point is to have balance right? Balance is really the ruler of our lives. If you look at any part of your life where you seem to have some success is because you have found some balance.

Till next time,
Your almost empty-nester!

Do you live in "Some Day I'll" land?

How many times have you been confronted with something that stirs your soul; confronted with something that brings you pure joy? But then, "reality" sets in and you say to yourself, someday I'll...

And that's where it stays, in Someday Isle Land.

You've heard the saying don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today, well, I couldn't agree more. We are all under this false pretense that we have all the time in the world when in reality all you have is this moment, right here, right now.

If you don't take action to move toward that "thing" that you want, you will never get there. But I don't know where to start, you say, or I don't have the money. 

Let's say your ultimate goal is to visit Greece but you think it’s impossible because you have no money, however, you eat out three times a day, every day!

Let me give you my opinion on how you can get closer and eventually achieve your "someday I'll" dream… (I hope you can apply it to your situation)

Ultimate goal:

First, write it down, "I want to visit Greece a year from today," or next summer, next winter, next spring whatever works for you.

Monthly goal:

Second, decide what you’re going to do in the next month to get you closer to the "ultimate" goal.  Let’s say you want to have $400 saved by the end of the month.  

Weekly goal:

Third, chunk your monthly goal into a weekly goal. What will you do weekly to make sure your monthly goal is met? In other words how will you get to your $400? Let’s say that for the next month you will only eat out for dinners.

Daily goal:

Fourth, chunk it down even more. What will you do daily to make sure your weekly goal is accomplished. Let’s say you commit to packing your breakfast and lunch every day.

Tip: Don't be vague, really pin point what you're going to do and how you’re going to do it. Don't be afraid to commit to something. Once you commit you will see how fast you start moving toward your goal.

I suggest to make it fun you can start a vision board. It’s simple, go to Pinterest and start a board called my trip to Greece, or whatever... and start pinning all the things you want to see and do on your trip, what you're going to wear, what you would like to eat, etc...

This goes for any goal you have, you just have to decide what you want and make a plan on how you're going to get it. 

Let me remind you once again of a "tip" that I find is most important, be specific when setting your monthly and weekly goals. Don't be afraid to set goals because you think you won't reach them. YOU WILL reach them. If you want this "thing" bad enough, reaching your weekly and monthly goals will not seem like a chore or a challenge but rather they will excite you and give you clear direction on how to get closer to your ultimate goal. 

I promise you that with these small changes you will reach your goal and it will be one less dream living in Someday Isle Land.

Till next time :)

I DIDN'T DIE

This may become a trend, I'm not sure, but this is what I love right now. What the heck am I talking about you ask?? I'm talking about Oprah's Supersoul Sunday guests--love them.

Coincidentally, her featured guest had shown up on my radar about two weeks ago and I was determined to buy his book. But then, I got sidetracked and I didn't get it. But leave it to the world to nudge me again, and so he showed up on Supersoul Sunday. I'm referring to Steven Pressfield.

He spoke about lots of amazing things, however, I will touch upon one topic that slapped me in the face.

He spoke about Resistance. Resistance is what happens when you try to move from a lower level to a higher level. In other words when you've decided enough is enough, I want a change, and in that moment you decide on all the great things you're going to do. You write out a detailed plan of exactly how you're going to better yourself, THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS that interferes with every single thing you've just written out. That my friends is Resistance, and it is THEN when you MUST KEEP GOING, because it is THEN when you will OBTAIN the very change you're seeking for.

I'll give you a quick example. One of my biggest blocks in my life is the fear of public speaking.

Yeah.. ironic since I am a writer and I have this little blog here and I hope to someday be able to bring my message to the masses in person, on stage, around the world. So you see how a fear of public speaking could really be an obstacle in my life.

Anyway, I recently decided to go back to school, and get a degree in creative writing, but because of some unforeseen problems, I had to register late and the classes that were open were very scarce. But, I was determined to start this semester. In addition, I'm under some really strict rules by the school that I cannot fail any classes or I will lose my funding. So in search of classes I found that the only classes available were three classes that required me to TO SPEAK IN FRONT OF THE CLASS. Can you believe it!!! Not one class, but all three.  Now what to do?? Here were my options.

1. Die
2. Don't start school
3. Just do it

I decided dying was not really going to work for me, so I decided to just DO IT... and yesterday was my first day back in school after 10 years...

Thank you, thank you.

But what was even better, was that for the first time in my life I had a completely different approach to this public speaking business. I eliminated any negative talk AND I didn't envision a terrible outcome at the end of my speaking. Instead, I VOLUNTEERED to SPEAK FIRST IN BOTH CLASSES. (I have the third class today) That's right! I pushed through the Resistance because I have a big goal and I won't stop til I reach it. The more I push through and get through every uncomfortable speaking situation is a step closer to my goal.

So once again, here I go encouraging you to go outside your comfort zone because what you call "your comfort zone" is what's keeping you from fulfilling your souls true calling in life. Steven Pressfield says something like this, if you could live your life according to the dictates of your soul then your life would be completely different than what it is today.  Ponder that for while.

Here's the link to purchase his book: The War of Art- By Steven Pressfield on Amazon

If you want to hear it straight from Mr. Pressfield himself go to: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Steven-Pressfield-Discusses-the-Things-We-Resist-Most-in-Life-Video

Till next time :)

The Most Terrifying Feeling!

I've been wanting to blog about this for two weeks now, but I've been struggling with relaying the message correctly. 

It's a must that this message is delivered accurately because I know a lot of us struggle with this. Therefore, instead of paraphrasing this important message I thought it would be better to post the 5 minute link that explains what happens when we experience joy and then immediately after picture something awful happening. 

Don't just exit out without clicking the link. Don't dismiss this message. It will change your life!
When you're done watching come on back. We'll Discuss it. Dr. Brené Brown on Joy: It's Terrifying

So????? Amazing right! I don't know about you, but this behavior governs my life. Knowing that I'm not the only one makes me feel so much better, it lets me know that I'm not so crazy....

I hope going forward you practice what she told us. Lean into those moments of joy feeling even more grateful, and DON'T fear that somehow something terrible is about to happen because you're SOOOO happy. It's ok to be happy, to be thankful for your kids, your health, your husband, your money. Just because you find yourself feeling "lucky" because you've been blessed doesn't mean that now you're going to somehow be punished.  

I now know this way of thinking can be avoided by simply leaning into the moments of joy and by giving thanks for whatever I'm feeling joyful about. And most of all, DON'T dress rehearse the tragedy because it doesn't protect or serve me in any way!

I hope this helped you in some way, because it was life changing for me!

Till next time!

I PANICKED!

Last week I was confronted with a very stressful situation and I panicked!

What I hate the most about that day is not so much the terrible news I got, but how I reacted to it. Ugh. If I could go back. 

Anyway, we already know not dwell on the past, therefore, I won't give it another thought. But I do want to help you so that you don't make the same mistake I did. 

Whenever you are confronted with a difficult situation, before you react, take a moment to STOP, THINK, and then if possible go meditate on it. 

No Really! You must! But if you find yourself unable to slip away for meditation, then this is what you must do.

DO NOTHING.  Don't react, don't say something you'll regret, don't call, don't email, AND most of all don't try to find a solution for the problem because more than likely it's not coming from a good place, but rather from a place of panic.

If you wait, even just one day, I am certain you will see things aren't as bad as you originally thought. In addition, a rational solution to your problem will pop in your head just by giving it some much needed time.

Till next time :)

TRUE SECRET to life

In an ever growing search for others who share my same passion, I have found Marie Forleo http://www.marieforleo.com/

 Marie Forleo

She, along with two other amazing teacher's were featured on Oprah's Super-Soul Sunday program last weekend  Click here to view full episode!, you must watch. They truly are the "Next Generation of Great Thinkers."

So what did I learn from this special? A lot!  But I will elaborate on one question that stuck with me. 

Oprah asked, what are the top three things you need to do in order to connect to your higher self?  They all had their answers. I will provide my mine.

1. Believe. I strongly think that nothing in your life can change unless you first believe that you can make miracles in your life.

2. Change. The conversations you hold in your mind have to drastically change. You must put a stop to EVERY SINGLE negative thought that comes in your head and replace it with good encouraging words.

3. Gratitude. Start to be thankful for everything you have. I mean EVERYTHING. I thank God for my hands and for my fingers for they allow me to type. For my legs for I am able to walk, etc. When you focus on all that you have, you stop noticing all the things that you don't have.  

The fact is, there are a lot of things you can do to get in alignment with your true self, but none of these things will make a change in your life until you take the most important step of all. ACTION. Once you decide enough is enough and you decide there's got to be more. That's when everything will start to fall into place. Then, it won't be so difficult to Believe, to Change, and to Give Thanks for all the things you have. 

And, most of all, when you do the steps listed above you'll discover the TRUE SECRET to life. The secret to great health, happiness and peace.  Everything in your life will seem simpler once you do ONE SIMPLE thing. 

Till next time :)