Reasons why I hate my parents:

How many of you have found yourself on the this side of the above statement. Everything in your life seems to be going perfectly, all but one little thing. This one thing, you can’t seem to move past, so you start asking yourself, why I am struggling with this? What is wrong with me? (whining voice is necessary) And RIGHT THERE is where you find your answer! This is my parents fault!

If only they had (fill in the blank) or, if they had not said (fill in the blank) then today I would be a perfect human being, living the perfect life. Those jerks! I am sure that you can make a list of things that you are unhappy with, and surely you can trace it back to your parents.

I, myself, have fallen victim to this trap. Why am I so shy, I asked myself.  Hmmm, let me think, well there was this one time I said something to my dad, and then he and everyone around me laughed! What I said was not meant to be funny....

 

Or, God why do I hate every single job I've ever had? Why do I quit time after time!! Wait, when I quit my fifth job, my dad laughed and didn’t act surprised, it was as though he was expecting me to quit. How dare he!!!

Or, why do I have self esteem issues? Wait a minute, my mother always talked about how big my hands were, and how big my back was, and how my sister had her narrow shoulders. Oh my god, it's all starting to make sense.

If only he had not laughed... today, I would have a fulfilling career! It’s my dad’s fault that I have stage fright, and because of him, I failed to become the famous singer I was supposed to be. Because of him, I am floating from one unfulfilling job to the next, and it is my mother's fault that I feel fat!And for these reasons, I hate my parents!

Of course this could not be furthest from the truth. I LOVE my parents and in my eyes they are the best parents anyone could ever ask for. But I won’t lie,  at times, when I have not been happy with my life, I sought out reasons to blame them. I searched and searched until I came up with the  examples you just read. But thank God, through various teachings I have realized that my parents are not to blame for the choices I have made in my life. After all, I was the one who chose to quit high school, instead of pursuing a career in music. I was the one that dwelled on the fact that now I was never going to work in music and settled for any retail job that showed up (in my twenties). And I was the one that compared myself to everyone in the world.

It would be ridiculous for me to blame them, because along with the above examples, my parents always told me they loved me, that I was beautiful and that the world was at my feet (in their own way of course).

Like most of us, it would be easy to trace back every single disappointment we've had back to our parents, but who would that serve? No one... And, besides, it wouldn't be true and you know it.
 

I speak of this topic as a daughter and as a mother. From both ends I can see how maybe some thing’s that parent's say, thought to be funny, may actually have long lasting affects.

My belief  is, that it's important not give anyone that much power over to other people, even if they are your parents. For if you do, you could remain stuck in the 'what if's' and in the blaming game.

I recommend you do this. Look at yourself in the mirror and admit that you've had some, if not most, of the doing in whatever it is that you're struggling with. By doing this, you will free yourself. This exercise will help you see that if you got yourself into this, then you can yourself out. Blaming others for your unhappiness will put you in a place where you are waiting for them to fix you. Putting things into perspective, will help you see things in a new light.

My advise as a mother is this, be kind with your words and with your opinions of your children, even if your words are intended as jokes, they may not understand, and your words could cause, in their eyes, irreversible damage.

My advise as a daughter, is move on, let it go, it's not their fault. Take control of your thoughts, and by doing so you will take control of your life.


Visit my previous blog post about What do you say to yourself it was inspired by Jack Canfield's formula, E-Event + R-Response = O- Outcome. This is the formula Jack Canfield uses to explain how YOU have the biggest influence over yourself.

Above all, let me say one last thing because I really do hate the title of this post! I LOVE MY MAMI Y PAPI!








 

Could the difference between doing what you love or not, be the simple act of being courageous?

Could it really be that easy? Could the difference between doing what you love or not, be the simple act of being courageous?

 

Time and again we hear of stories where people tell us about the "moment" when they arrived at the place that ultimately led to their current success. Usually, they start off by telling you how hard it was, followed by some ups and downs, which led to the moment when they almost gave up, but THEN they had an Aha moment and they just WENT FOR IT! This "aha moment" can be only be described as, COURAGE.

But what does it truly take to be courageous? I think there are five key ingredients that can make you into a courageous person. These steps can help eliminate self doubt, procrastination and stagnation. 

First, you must have faith, or belief in yourself and in your abilities. You must have irrefutable belief that you can have whatever it is that you want.

Two, you must want it more than anything else. More than a TV show, more than hanging out with your friends, basically, you have to want it more than you want your down time.

Three, you must take any and all opportunities that come your way, no matter how small. One door will open another, in other words, be a Yes Man.

Four, eliminate all routine from your life. In my opinion, routine is the death of creativity.

Five, everyday do one thing that moves you in the direction of your goal, no matter how small, even if it's a baby step. Every step in the right direction is a good thing.

Taking these steps will establish a sense of confidence and a knowing--that will guarantee you are ready for WHEN the big opportunity comes your way. In addition to, filling you with the courage you thought you didn’t have. 

Finally, you will not doubt yourself, for you have practiced belief and faith. You will see opportunities, because you were available. You will meet others that share your goals, because you said yes. New opportunities will find you because you switched up your day. And finally, you will be closer to success because you didn’t waste a single day.

Take a look at this inspirational, musical short film,  Today's the Day- A Musical Short it’s pretty AWESOME. Share it with your friends and family who are in need of a little pick-me-up.

 

 

Today's the Day- A Musical Short

 

What is the meaning of....

Usually the above statement is linked to "what is the meaning of life".  I believe that in order to find the meaning of life you need not look too far.

There's no need to be philosophical about this, simply look at your life, then chunk it down even more to where you're looking at the smallest of aspects of your life, good or bad, and there you will find the "meaning of life".

I think that most things in life, just are, and it's the meaning one gives it that ultimately leads to how we feel about it, thereby coming up with some conclusion to "what is the meaning of life". Of course, as I usually do, I am going to use 'career' as an example, because as I've stated in my blogs, this is where I am struggling the most, and therefore, hope to grow by sharing my thoughts with you.

Okay, so why is it that I hate my job, and love the potential career in writing that I have in my head. I've recently learned that this phenomenon is due to the meaning I've given each thing. The feeling I've given my job is: stuck, boring, and meaningless. The meaning I've given my potential career is: happiness, freedom and meaningful.  As you can see these two are at complete opposite ends. This got me wondering, if I were to change the meaning I've given my job would I then really feel differently about it? Then,  if I did feel differently about it, what would happen? Would I be happy? But then, I wouldn't have anything to complain about...And what if I became happy with my days, so happy in fact that I would no longer want to write? No, I must continue to hate my job otherwise I might be happy!

The truth is, there's no need to fear this happening. The passion that I have for writing doesn't stem from hating some other thing, it comes from an entirely different place, it comes from a place of love. And that's the difference, hating my job comes from a place of fear. Fear of failure, fear of not making it.

The truth is, hating a certain thing--in my case, my day job, doesn't really do anything other than keep you stuck in that situation, and make you miserable in the process. Just like any habit, this way of thinking becomes home to you, this is your "comfort zone".  Think about it this way. How many times have you said "I'm not going to eat sweet's anymore," yet you return to it time after time because it makes you feel good.  Even though you know in the long run those sweet's are slowly hurting your health. But, if you're able to resist the temptation of reaching for those sweet's, then magic happens. Eventually you won't crave them anymore, and ultimately your health will improve. Well, the same goes for this negative way of thinking.  If you stop complaining and stop looking at the negative things in your daily life, your life will improve and you will be a much happier person, probably closer to being the kind of person you want to be, and much closer to your overall goals.

So start today, start giving the things in your life that aggravate you a NEW MEANING and see how this transforms your days, your mood, and ultimately your life. I will definitely try it, because frankly I haven't really been pleased with my thought life lately. 

 

Till Next Time!

What is the dollar amount that is holding you hostage?

For me, that number is minimal at best, yet, it has me in a prison I can’t escape from.

Who are my capturers? My thoughts, influenced by utter fear.

My thoughts jab at me on a daily basis reminding me how terrible it would be if I were to break free from my prison. It tells me how I would lose everything; ruin my life and those of my loved ones. It tells me I am being irresponsible by wanting to pick happiness over security and so and so on the jabbing continues.

When the capturer leaves me alone, and a moment of clarity is allowed to sink-in, I know those are all lies. I know that picking happiness would only make my days betters, I would have a better thinking life, and it would ultimately increase my wealth, thereby allowing me to provide an even better life for my family.
 

But those moments are few and far between, and so I willingly let my capturer tie my hands, and paralyze me, while I sit by, day after day watching my life pass me by.

If you find yourself in captivity like me, I think we should ask ourselves this question, what's the worst that could happen? Tony Robbins is the king of encouraging us to address this question. He reminds us that by asking this simple question it allows us to really put things into perspective, thereby releasing all apprehension we have. This exercise shows us that even if the worst thing you think could happen, happens, all is not lost. Secondly, it might permit for a 'plan to action' to where you don't feel unprepared.

For example let's say you are thinking of quitting your job and starting a new business, but you've convinced yourself you can't afford it. Well, this is where you ask yourself the question "what's the worst that could happen if I quit and go for it?" Your response could go something like this, if I have no money coming in, I will lose my home, car, and credit, I'll be forced to move-in with a family member until I get on my feet again.

Now with your fears clearly out in the open you can start to make progress. You can find a solution to your problem by providing options, "okay, what if, I were to work overtime for three months, or cut some of my luxury items for a bit, how much could I save that will allow me to quit my job safely and pursue starting my business?? See what I mean!

I think I will do the above and start putting my own fears into perspective so that I can move forward. I hope you do too, and by doing so you get a little closer to your goal, whatever it may be.

Till Next Time!




 

Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands, Inspired by Danielle Walker

I cannot explain how excited I get when I come across people that totally inspire me. Let me introduce you to  Danielle Walker the author of the cook books Against All Grain.

I will not go into depth about her sorry, because frankly, I won't give it justice. For her full biography visit her website linked above.



But I will give you very tiny highlights. She was very sick, at the age of 22 she was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, an autoimmune disease. She would spend about six months out of the year severely sick, and other half trying to recuperate. All this, while doctors consistently told her that diet had no factor on her disease.



Finally tired of living  in that way, and realizing that traditional medicine was not helping, she took matters into her own hands. After much research and listening to her body, she was able to nurse her body back to health.  It is a must that you visit her website to see photos of before and after and to read about her journey. http://www.daniellewalker.com/#/my-journey/

She is just one of millions that didn't just take the doctors word and sat around waiting for traditional meds to fix her.  Had she done this, God only knows what would have become of her.



Danielle is a Best Selling author and a very successful blogger that has been able to reach thousands if not millions, by simply sharing her story.  When she decided to share her story it was in an effort to help others! And I believe that is how success truly reaches you (no matter what success looks like to you). 



Today I want to encourage you to think outside the box; don't settle for the things you've been told.  I encourage you to follow your intuition, your heart, to listen to your body and see where it takes you.

I am not an expert on food at all but I do know this, my body definitely tells me what it doesn't like. After it does, it's up to me to listen. Are you listening to your body? Or are you ignoring it simply to get that immediate satisfaction.  If you are, make a deal that you won't ignore it anymore. Starting today pay attention to everything, like that knee pain you've been having, maybe it's due something you're lacking in your diet. Or that constant headache you have, don't numb it with over-the-counter meds, find a natural solution for it. I am not suggesting that medicine is bad, but it is my opinion that they are not always the best or only option. Danielle's story is just one of many that proves my point.



By the way, this goes for everything in your life. Is someone telling you it can't be done? Is someone in your life putting a ton of obstacles between you and a dream you have? You must not listen. You must take matters into your own hands, do the research, lean in and go for it. No one can tell you what's possible or not. So go for it, listen to that little voice inside you, it knows a lot more than those naysayers around you! That 'thing' inside you might be the very thing the world needs!

Till Next Time!

Why You Are Going Nowhere

The other day I came across a very insightful video by Tyler Perry. 

Basically, he addressed the question, "how did you make it?" He gave the answer I expected him to give, "by the grace of God" he said. But he continued to explain further. I could hear the voices of those watching bellowing "what did you actually do to get to where you are Mr. Perry?" Because that’s really what the question was right? That’s really what we want to know. Thankfully he answered.

He said the most important thing he did was FOCUS!

He said how there was ONE thing he really wanted, and it was to do a play. His sole focus became putting on and promoting this play year after year. Although he suffered many rejections and disappointments he stayed focused on this dream. Furthermore, he did not jump from idea to idea just because it wasn't happening yet (in fact it took years for his play to actually take off).

I know what you’re thinking, "I’m focused." Okay, here, let me give you an example on how I thought I was focused too.

I am a writer, therefore, I want to write for a living. I want share my stories with the world, make lots of money, and live happily ever after. So, I am writing a novel, I am blogging and I am writing a screen play. "What’s wrong with that?" you say. Let me tell you, the minute he said those words I knew that this was my problem. I lack focus. Just because all these things fall under the "writing" category doesn't mean they don’t each require separate focus points. For this reason, I have been running in place but going nowhere.

I am not sure exactly how I will go about handling my focus issues, because I really do want all three things. Or maybe I just simply want to write. No, it's not that simple... But one thing is for sure, I will figure it out. I will narrow my focus down to one and write my little heart out!

So now is your turn. How have you been misleading yourself? Is there something you want but you've been stuck like me, seeing little to no progress? I bet if you sort it out, you’ll find that lack of focus is at the root of your problem.

Do as Tyler Perry did, FOCUS and keep going until you attain the very thing you set out to get.

Have a listen to this song. This is how I feel about us as a collective body. We all have something to do and say, Go for it, we need you.

READ ALL ABOUT IT

Till Next Time!

Why you should challenge yourself

So do you yoga?  Well I do. I did this 30 day challenge with Erin Motz, from Do You Yoga and it was amazing. Although I've been trying my hand at yoga for the past two years, I've recently decided to give it my all. This is why this 30 day challenge worked out so well for me. It was the boost I needed to get me into the right frame of mind.

http://erinmotz.com/

Before I share my amazing experience, let me first preface by saying I have no experience when it comes to sports. In addition, flexibility is not something I was gifted with. So when I started this challenge I considered myself a beginner and therefore was worried about the challenges that came with this practice. But, I decided to just go with it, furthermore, I made an internal commitment to do, or at least try to do every single thing she was teaching.

This brings me to day seven! Day seven introduced us to the crow pose, I tried and tried and even cried because I couldn't do it, what’s worse is that I was really trying. But thankfully, with my daughter's encouragement I quickly wiped those tears away and I decided that I would not give up, but most importantly I decided that I WOULD DO IT. 

Believe it or not it only took 24 hours and I got both feet off the ground, it was only for like half a second but still... This was only a small victory, but it was a victory all the same. With this newly found confidence I kept trying, and trying until my wrist, arms and shoulders simply couldn't take it anymore.  Soon the challenge turned from getting myself off the ground to holding myself up for as long as possible and perfecting the actual pose.  Have I perfect-it you're wondering? Well here I am doing it!

Not even close to perfecting it, lol, but I will. What is most important is that I did it. Something I thought I could never do, I did. This small victory gave me the courage to even try a head stand. “Let me see it,” you say! Well that one, I’m still working on, but I will reach that goal too, and I will share it with you when I do.

My point is a couple things. First, challenge yourself, go for the impossible because you really don’t know what you’re capable of. And second, don’t be afraid to try new things, life is awesome, and it’s here for you to experience it fully. I recently came across this quote giving FEAR a new meaning, and I have fallen in love with it.

Visit  http://publichealthonline.gwu.edu/yoga-matters-invitation
 So you can share your yoga story too!

Till Next Time!