Get 2015 Started Right

Hello all,

I've been MIA lately, but it’s only because I've been trying to sort some things out in my professional sphere. And of course, there’s no better time to get yourself straightened out than the beginning of a new year.   I am not sure why the start of a new year seems to energize me and fill me with such optimism, but it is an awesome feeling. As the end of the year approached, I had all these ideas and goals that I wanted to strive for this year. I couldn't wait until January 1st to write them down and start heading toward them.

So, on January 1, the first thing I did was tackle the one thing most of us hate doing, taking down our Christmas decorations. I decided that I would not procrastinate on this one task, this, I decided, would start me off on the right foot avoiding all and any procrastination.

Second, I sat down and wrote all the things I wanted to have, do or get in 2015. As I was writing down my goals, I really focused on each thing. I wanted to make sure my 2015 goals were not considered a “wish list.” I aimed for things that I could obtain as long as I worked for them and practiced discipline. I’ll give a few examples:

1. I want to travel. Specifically to California, New York and/or Colorado. There is no reason why I can’t do these things. The only thing stopping me, is me. It’s not like I said I wanted to go to Mars, or the moon.
2. I want to perfect a few yoga poses. Sure, I do lots of poses now, but none are quite there.
3. I want to get one piece of writing published, whether it’s my blog, an article, or one of my novels, I don’t care.  All are equally important.

You see what I mean? Writing down my goals gave me focus and something to work toward. “Well it’s too late for me, it’s already January 6^th," you say. Don’t fret... of course it is not too late. You can decide to set goals for yourself any day of the year. I say, whenever inspiration hits, that’s the best day to get started on moving toward your goals.

Oh, one more thing. For me, this year  has a theme, and it is this,“some people live 90 years, others live 1 year 90 times.” Going forward I am determined to live every year as a brand new year, and keep only, or repeat only, the things that fully satisfy my soul!

Till next time!

What's Behind Everything That You’re Unhappy With ?

The truth is when I heard what you’re about to read, it blew my mind. I immediately searched my life for proof that they were wrong. But, what I found is that they were 100% correct.

Are you ready for it? Here it goes.

Lack of “self love” is behind everything that you’re unhappy with in your life.

If you were to trace back to the root of any problem you're facing, you will find that the reason for your troubles is lack of self love. Think about it for a minute, if it’s your weight you're unhappy with, try to remember the things you say to yourself about your body.  The same goes for anything else that you're struggling with. I’m sure your struggles are due to the harsh criticism you engage in.

Now on the other side, look at your life at the things you are completely satisfied with. How much love are you pouring into it, how much love are you giving. I’ll give you an example.

For me, being a mom has been an amazing journey, one of the best things in my life. I love them to pieces and I have a great relationship with them. Through their entire life, not once have I had a negative feeling toward them, or about being a parent. I have embraced it, I have poured all of myself into them, and when I’m not around them only good feelings come from being a mom.

In contrast, my struggles have always been career driven. My mind has always been occupied with less than appealing thoughts. At first feelings of being lost, then luckily I was found, but then consumed with thoughts of not being good enough, or not having, or not getting, or comparing myself to others. Always having the feeling of “not having” or being stuck in a job I hate.

So if it is true, if the reason I have a healthy relationship with my children is because I have given them nothing but my love and I have an unhealthy relationship with my career because I have given it zero love, then it’s time to change that, don’t you think?

As I always do, I will ask you to embark on this journey with me. Take a look at your life—any area where there’s lack. Then, think about how you got there, once you connect that your results are due to the absence of love, then, change it. Starting today pour nothing but love into that situation, no matter where you’re at. If it’s your health, or your career, or your relationship, give it love and nothing else.

 

Reasons why I hate my parents:

How many of you have found yourself on the this side of the above statement. Everything in your life seems to be going perfectly, all but one little thing. This one thing, you can’t seem to move past, so you start asking yourself, why I am struggling with this? What is wrong with me? (whining voice is necessary) And RIGHT THERE is where you find your answer! This is my parents fault!

If only they had (fill in the blank) or, if they had not said (fill in the blank) then today I would be a perfect human being, living the perfect life. Those jerks! I am sure that you can make a list of things that you are unhappy with, and surely you can trace it back to your parents.

I, myself, have fallen victim to this trap. Why am I so shy, I asked myself.  Hmmm, let me think, well there was this one time I said something to my dad, and then he and everyone around me laughed! What I said was not meant to be funny....

 

Or, God why do I hate every single job I've ever had? Why do I quit time after time!! Wait, when I quit my fifth job, my dad laughed and didn’t act surprised, it was as though he was expecting me to quit. How dare he!!!

Or, why do I have self esteem issues? Wait a minute, my mother always talked about how big my hands were, and how big my back was, and how my sister had her narrow shoulders. Oh my god, it's all starting to make sense.

If only he had not laughed... today, I would have a fulfilling career! It’s my dad’s fault that I have stage fright, and because of him, I failed to become the famous singer I was supposed to be. Because of him, I am floating from one unfulfilling job to the next, and it is my mother's fault that I feel fat!And for these reasons, I hate my parents!

Of course this could not be furthest from the truth. I LOVE my parents and in my eyes they are the best parents anyone could ever ask for. But I won’t lie,  at times, when I have not been happy with my life, I sought out reasons to blame them. I searched and searched until I came up with the  examples you just read. But thank God, through various teachings I have realized that my parents are not to blame for the choices I have made in my life. After all, I was the one who chose to quit high school, instead of pursuing a career in music. I was the one that dwelled on the fact that now I was never going to work in music and settled for any retail job that showed up (in my twenties). And I was the one that compared myself to everyone in the world.

It would be ridiculous for me to blame them, because along with the above examples, my parents always told me they loved me, that I was beautiful and that the world was at my feet (in their own way of course).

Like most of us, it would be easy to trace back every single disappointment we've had back to our parents, but who would that serve? No one... And, besides, it wouldn't be true and you know it.
 

I speak of this topic as a daughter and as a mother. From both ends I can see how maybe some thing’s that parent's say, thought to be funny, may actually have long lasting affects.

My belief  is, that it's important not give anyone that much power over to other people, even if they are your parents. For if you do, you could remain stuck in the 'what if's' and in the blaming game.

I recommend you do this. Look at yourself in the mirror and admit that you've had some, if not most, of the doing in whatever it is that you're struggling with. By doing this, you will free yourself. This exercise will help you see that if you got yourself into this, then you can yourself out. Blaming others for your unhappiness will put you in a place where you are waiting for them to fix you. Putting things into perspective, will help you see things in a new light.

My advise as a mother is this, be kind with your words and with your opinions of your children, even if your words are intended as jokes, they may not understand, and your words could cause, in their eyes, irreversible damage.

My advise as a daughter, is move on, let it go, it's not their fault. Take control of your thoughts, and by doing so you will take control of your life.


Visit my previous blog post about What do you say to yourself it was inspired by Jack Canfield's formula, E-Event + R-Response = O- Outcome. This is the formula Jack Canfield uses to explain how YOU have the biggest influence over yourself.

Above all, let me say one last thing because I really do hate the title of this post! I LOVE MY MAMI Y PAPI!








 

Could the difference between doing what you love or not, be the simple act of being courageous?

Could it really be that easy? Could the difference between doing what you love or not, be the simple act of being courageous?

 

Time and again we hear of stories where people tell us about the "moment" when they arrived at the place that ultimately led to their current success. Usually, they start off by telling you how hard it was, followed by some ups and downs, which led to the moment when they almost gave up, but THEN they had an Aha moment and they just WENT FOR IT! This "aha moment" can be only be described as, COURAGE.

But what does it truly take to be courageous? I think there are five key ingredients that can make you into a courageous person. These steps can help eliminate self doubt, procrastination and stagnation. 

First, you must have faith, or belief in yourself and in your abilities. You must have irrefutable belief that you can have whatever it is that you want.

Two, you must want it more than anything else. More than a TV show, more than hanging out with your friends, basically, you have to want it more than you want your down time.

Three, you must take any and all opportunities that come your way, no matter how small. One door will open another, in other words, be a Yes Man.

Four, eliminate all routine from your life. In my opinion, routine is the death of creativity.

Five, everyday do one thing that moves you in the direction of your goal, no matter how small, even if it's a baby step. Every step in the right direction is a good thing.

Taking these steps will establish a sense of confidence and a knowing--that will guarantee you are ready for WHEN the big opportunity comes your way. In addition to, filling you with the courage you thought you didn’t have. 

Finally, you will not doubt yourself, for you have practiced belief and faith. You will see opportunities, because you were available. You will meet others that share your goals, because you said yes. New opportunities will find you because you switched up your day. And finally, you will be closer to success because you didn’t waste a single day.

Take a look at this inspirational, musical short film,  Today's the Day- A Musical Short it’s pretty AWESOME. Share it with your friends and family who are in need of a little pick-me-up.

 

 

Today's the Day- A Musical Short

 

What is the meaning of....

Usually the above statement is linked to "what is the meaning of life".  I believe that in order to find the meaning of life you need not look too far.

There's no need to be philosophical about this, simply look at your life, then chunk it down even more to where you're looking at the smallest of aspects of your life, good or bad, and there you will find the "meaning of life".

I think that most things in life, just are, and it's the meaning one gives it that ultimately leads to how we feel about it, thereby coming up with some conclusion to "what is the meaning of life". Of course, as I usually do, I am going to use 'career' as an example, because as I've stated in my blogs, this is where I am struggling the most, and therefore, hope to grow by sharing my thoughts with you.

Okay, so why is it that I hate my job, and love the potential career in writing that I have in my head. I've recently learned that this phenomenon is due to the meaning I've given each thing. The feeling I've given my job is: stuck, boring, and meaningless. The meaning I've given my potential career is: happiness, freedom and meaningful.  As you can see these two are at complete opposite ends. This got me wondering, if I were to change the meaning I've given my job would I then really feel differently about it? Then,  if I did feel differently about it, what would happen? Would I be happy? But then, I wouldn't have anything to complain about...And what if I became happy with my days, so happy in fact that I would no longer want to write? No, I must continue to hate my job otherwise I might be happy!

The truth is, there's no need to fear this happening. The passion that I have for writing doesn't stem from hating some other thing, it comes from an entirely different place, it comes from a place of love. And that's the difference, hating my job comes from a place of fear. Fear of failure, fear of not making it.

The truth is, hating a certain thing--in my case, my day job, doesn't really do anything other than keep you stuck in that situation, and make you miserable in the process. Just like any habit, this way of thinking becomes home to you, this is your "comfort zone".  Think about it this way. How many times have you said "I'm not going to eat sweet's anymore," yet you return to it time after time because it makes you feel good.  Even though you know in the long run those sweet's are slowly hurting your health. But, if you're able to resist the temptation of reaching for those sweet's, then magic happens. Eventually you won't crave them anymore, and ultimately your health will improve. Well, the same goes for this negative way of thinking.  If you stop complaining and stop looking at the negative things in your daily life, your life will improve and you will be a much happier person, probably closer to being the kind of person you want to be, and much closer to your overall goals.

So start today, start giving the things in your life that aggravate you a NEW MEANING and see how this transforms your days, your mood, and ultimately your life. I will definitely try it, because frankly I haven't really been pleased with my thought life lately. 

 

Till Next Time!

What is the dollar amount that is holding you hostage?

For me, that number is minimal at best, yet, it has me in a prison I can’t escape from.

Who are my capturers? My thoughts, influenced by utter fear.

My thoughts jab at me on a daily basis reminding me how terrible it would be if I were to break free from my prison. It tells me how I would lose everything; ruin my life and those of my loved ones. It tells me I am being irresponsible by wanting to pick happiness over security and so and so on the jabbing continues.

When the capturer leaves me alone, and a moment of clarity is allowed to sink-in, I know those are all lies. I know that picking happiness would only make my days betters, I would have a better thinking life, and it would ultimately increase my wealth, thereby allowing me to provide an even better life for my family.
 

But those moments are few and far between, and so I willingly let my capturer tie my hands, and paralyze me, while I sit by, day after day watching my life pass me by.

If you find yourself in captivity like me, I think we should ask ourselves this question, what's the worst that could happen? Tony Robbins is the king of encouraging us to address this question. He reminds us that by asking this simple question it allows us to really put things into perspective, thereby releasing all apprehension we have. This exercise shows us that even if the worst thing you think could happen, happens, all is not lost. Secondly, it might permit for a 'plan to action' to where you don't feel unprepared.

For example let's say you are thinking of quitting your job and starting a new business, but you've convinced yourself you can't afford it. Well, this is where you ask yourself the question "what's the worst that could happen if I quit and go for it?" Your response could go something like this, if I have no money coming in, I will lose my home, car, and credit, I'll be forced to move-in with a family member until I get on my feet again.

Now with your fears clearly out in the open you can start to make progress. You can find a solution to your problem by providing options, "okay, what if, I were to work overtime for three months, or cut some of my luxury items for a bit, how much could I save that will allow me to quit my job safely and pursue starting my business?? See what I mean!

I think I will do the above and start putting my own fears into perspective so that I can move forward. I hope you do too, and by doing so you get a little closer to your goal, whatever it may be.

Till Next Time!




 

Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands, Inspired by Danielle Walker

I cannot explain how excited I get when I come across people that totally inspire me. Let me introduce you to  Danielle Walker the author of the cook books Against All Grain.

I will not go into depth about her sorry, because frankly, I won't give it justice. For her full biography visit her website linked above.



But I will give you very tiny highlights. She was very sick, at the age of 22 she was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, an autoimmune disease. She would spend about six months out of the year severely sick, and other half trying to recuperate. All this, while doctors consistently told her that diet had no factor on her disease.



Finally tired of living  in that way, and realizing that traditional medicine was not helping, she took matters into her own hands. After much research and listening to her body, she was able to nurse her body back to health.  It is a must that you visit her website to see photos of before and after and to read about her journey. http://www.daniellewalker.com/#/my-journey/

She is just one of millions that didn't just take the doctors word and sat around waiting for traditional meds to fix her.  Had she done this, God only knows what would have become of her.



Danielle is a Best Selling author and a very successful blogger that has been able to reach thousands if not millions, by simply sharing her story.  When she decided to share her story it was in an effort to help others! And I believe that is how success truly reaches you (no matter what success looks like to you). 



Today I want to encourage you to think outside the box; don't settle for the things you've been told.  I encourage you to follow your intuition, your heart, to listen to your body and see where it takes you.

I am not an expert on food at all but I do know this, my body definitely tells me what it doesn't like. After it does, it's up to me to listen. Are you listening to your body? Or are you ignoring it simply to get that immediate satisfaction.  If you are, make a deal that you won't ignore it anymore. Starting today pay attention to everything, like that knee pain you've been having, maybe it's due something you're lacking in your diet. Or that constant headache you have, don't numb it with over-the-counter meds, find a natural solution for it. I am not suggesting that medicine is bad, but it is my opinion that they are not always the best or only option. Danielle's story is just one of many that proves my point.



By the way, this goes for everything in your life. Is someone telling you it can't be done? Is someone in your life putting a ton of obstacles between you and a dream you have? You must not listen. You must take matters into your own hands, do the research, lean in and go for it. No one can tell you what's possible or not. So go for it, listen to that little voice inside you, it knows a lot more than those naysayers around you! That 'thing' inside you might be the very thing the world needs!

Till Next Time!