My 6 Days of Darkness!

The other day I acted, or rather did something I had never done before. I acted completely out of character.

Let me explain, I consider myself a pretty level headed person. I never say anything I don't mean, I never lose control, I never get so angry to the point that I lose common sense. I never get so upset that I make huge mistakes and then have to regret it later. In fact, I have never done what I did last week.

6 days! That's how long it took for me to get over behaving and feeling like a totally insane person. But you know what, it had to happen! I needed that to happen because it helped in clearing up certain things.

So you're probably wondering what the heck I'm talking about right? Well as much as I don't want to share, I feel I have to.

Ok, so since making this big life change of learning how to always be in a positive state of mind, and thinking positive and visualizing, and meditating, and learning, and listening, and reading about anything AND everything that can encourage me AND others, I CRASHED BIG TIME.

Everything in my life is perfect, everything expect my career! Which is funny because that is the one thing I put all of my law of attraction focus on.  What I want more than anything is for my career to just be. For me to wake up every morning and work my butt off just doing something that will make me happy, subsequently making others happy, therefore, making the world a better place. Is that so hard? 

I have recently had to accept a position doing a job I swore I would never do again. A job I swore killed my soul little by little. And this decision tore me up so badly that for 6 days I reacted so drastically that I did the following;

I threw away all my journals

I threw away a script

I unsubscribed to every single positive teacher I was following

I deleted all my social apps from my phone (Twitter, FB, Blog, Goodreads)

I decided to give up and not believe in anything

I decided to give up and not write ever again

I cried and felt sorry for myself for 6 days!

But then CLARITY!

Although it appeared as though something had died, it was the complete opposite, something came back to life. For a year and a half although I believed, followed, wrote about, and talked about this life change, a small part of me wondered if I truly was this new person I claimed to be. Was I really positive Pollyanna? Did I really believe what I was selling? And after my meltdown the answer is YES! 

Although I didn't admit it to anyone, at the time of my meltdown I was so afraid of losing the person I had become, that I could bare it no longer and I had to come up for air. I needed to read, write, or listen to something that inspired me. I wanted to inspire you. I don't want to give up. I want to keep going no matter how long it takes to fulfill my dreams. I rather have a life of dreaming, of hoping that some day it will happen for me than live a life of misery by haven given up on everything that makes me happy. AHHHH. I really do feel like I can breathe again. Some of you may think that giving up is easy, but I'm telling you that having that attitude was not only so hard, but also heart breaking. I felt afraid of losing the new person I had become, the new person I learned to love and admire. I was afraid of what would happen now that I let go of my dreams, who was I to become now? No, not worth it. I had to come back. I had to stay strong; it was/is the only way for me. Not only was I not willing to let go of this new person I had become, but I was not about to lay to rest my dream of working in the entertainment industry--which is what I've wanted since I was a little girl. 

I simply share this because I need to be honest with those who read my blog. I'm not perfect. I get scared, I doubt, and I fall, but most importantly I get up again. And that's what you must do too. Doubt, fall, cry, but never—never give up!

One more thing. I have to give a great big thanks to my hubby for not giving up on me through my 6 days of darkness. He kept reminding me of who I was and what I wanted and he vowed to never let me give up--no matter what I was saying on the outside!

Till next time!

Happiness is always an inside job!

Recently I've really been exploring the idea that happiness lies within you, and not outside of you.

But, I have a tendency of living in the "when I have ________ then I'll be happy," or "when I'm able to do ______ that will be awesome and I will be so happy." However, I'm finally starting to get it!

Have you ever been so excited for something, and then, once you get it you're kinda like, eh.... It's almost as if the feeling or excitement of getting it was better than actually getting what you wanted.

Well, according to the experts the reason why is because whenever we want "something," what we are actually in search of is the FEELING that comes with it, not the actual "thing" we think we want.  This makes it easy to see why they say that happiness lies within you and not outside of you.  Nothing outside of you can actually provide you with any happiness, it is the feeling that you have which determines whether or not you will be happy. 

So try it out. Think about something that you really want, and try to see what kinds of feelings you get. And then, see if you can get to a place where it "feels" like you already have it. See if your mood changes, if you're suddenly optimistic or excited just as you would be if you had "it." According to the experts, by doing this you activate some sort of power that will bring whatever it is that you want into your life.

However, the amazing thing about this transformation will be that although you obtained the very thing you wanted, you have a clear understanding that this "thing" was not what made you happy, but rather that happiness is state of mind that you can obtain at any time in your life. 

Most importantly don't give the power of happiness to any one thing; not money, not materialistic things, not even another person--is not fair to them.  Simply try to get to the bottom of why you want what you want, and then try to see what it is that you're feeling when you think about it. And there it will be. That's where you will find what you really want! You will see that it all boils down to you wanting to feel a certain way.

Till Next Time!

Chip away until you find the real you!

So I guess I am a Michelangelo fan. Have you ever seen this quote? 

I love it! This is exactly how you and I are. We are angels in the marble waiting to be released into this thing we call our life. 

How to do you chip away all the "stuff?" By clearing up all your limited beliefs. 

I have come across a lot of people who simply tell me they don't know what they want to do in life, or rather they don't know what they want to be when they grow up. I happen to disagree with these people. I believe they do know, but somehow they are blocking their true self from coming to the surface because of their own fears and their limited beliefs. Perhaps the following excuses played a part in the block they've created, maybe money was an issue, or perhaps fear of disappointing a parent, or just the mere fact that they got distracted with life and now they think is too late. All of these reasons will prevent a person from being honest with themselves. Sometimes is easier to say "I don't know" than to say I gave up.

I'm here to remind you that it is never too late. First, get clear about you want. Second, find out what your limited belief is about what you want. Replace every negative belief with a positive one. 

For example:

If your excuse for not working in your field of choice is, "I'm too old" replace that with I have knowledge and I was born to this. 

Another excuse may be, "I'm not good enough," then replace it with I am smart and I can accomplish anything in my life. 

At first it may seem like lies, you may even laugh at your "lies." Your mind may tell you to stop being silly and then start contradicting every single thought you have. And it may even offer examples of how you are not the person you now say you are. But trust me, keep at it, one thought at time will change your life. 

This is how you start chipping away until the marble is clear and the you that is supposed to be roaming this earth comes out to play. 

I hope you have a wonderful year and that you make all your dreams come true. 

Till next time my friends.