Empty promises be gone! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As many of us approach the end of the year, we will close it out by making our New Year's resolutions. 

You're excited for the new beginning and a clean slate, this is how most of us view January 1st. You have plans that include everything you want or hope to be in the coming year. BUT THEN, as days pass by that fire starts to burn out and you're left, yet again, with nothing but empty promises. 

This setting of goals and not achieving them, or even following through with them a week into setting them, starts you on a downward spiral. But enough is enough right? It doesn't have to be this way, you don't have to  live year after year with guilt over not fulfilling the goals and desires you set for yourself. 

Instead of putting your wants and desires into a box called "New Year's Resolution" and then putting the box away a week after January 1st because you messed up by missing a day at the gym, lets not put it into a box. There are things you want to accomplish in your life, not just this year, so lets take the "year" out of the equation. Lets just focus on the things that you want out of life. Be healthier, learn another language, travel..whatever it is. Just look at the big picture. 

Now that you have that image in your head think about the steps that you will take to get there. No matter how long it takes you. No pressure, just focus on one day a time, and by doing this you will arrive at your ultimate destination.  However, it is imperative that you stop the cycle of saying you're going to do something and NOT DOING IT. If nothing else, you must DO WHAT YOU SAY. When you constantly break promises to yourself, you are creating habits that then become the person you are. The challenge I have for you is this. 

No matter what your goals are, even if it's just one small thing you want to do or have, if you say you're going to take steps 1, 2 and 3 to get there, then do steps 1, 2 and 3. It's as simple as following through. So go for it, and when you'e setting your goals and the steps you will take to achieve them keep in mind Michelangelo's quote:  "The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that is too low and we reach it."

Have a wonderful new year my friends till next time.

It's not WHAT you do, its WHY you do it!

"It's not what you do is why you do it" is what the CEO of Starbucks told Oprah on Supersoul Sunday and it stayed with me. In others words, it's all about intentions! 

When you decide that you want something, do you ever stop to consider why you want it. Perhaps the answer to this question will add fuel to your desire. Or perhaps, it will make it disappear altogether.

So taking the advice of the experts, I asked myself the following questions:

What Do I Want?
Why Do I Want It?

The answer to what I want wasn't that foreign to me, that one was easy. But the answer to why I wanted those things kind of shocked me at first.

The ego, that part of you that dictates your life and makes you feel in competition with the world, that part of you that says you 're not good enough is the one that provided the initial answer to me.

It told me the reason I wanted what I want is so that I can be acknowledged by my peers, because I'm not good enough to stand on my on opinion of myself.

But when I dug deeper and shut the ego out, and got to the core of who I really am, the truth then emerged. 

The reason I want what I want is so that I can change lives. I want to impact your life in a positive way. I want my audience to feel happy as often as possible. I want everyone to fully live their life. I want everyone to accomplish their hearts desire. I want everyone to live a purpose driven life. I want everyone to care and be kind to one another. And not so that I can feel better or acknowledged, but so that you can feel better and be happy.

But, If I hadn't taken the time to dig deeper to find out the real reason why I want what I want, then I might have been crushed by my ego's response by suggesting that I was shallow. Your ego will tell you many things, but they are not always true. 

If you are contemplating a huge change in your life, or you are trying to reach a new goal, ask yourself those two questions and I'm sure it will set you in the right direction. However, pay attention to who is providing the answer. If it's your ego, then ask again, dig deeper, and your answer will be drastically different.

Till next time :)

We Are Living Two Lives! One is awesome, the other not so much...

My mind is going a millions miles a minute. I want to talk about so many different things! Calm down mind, settle on one thing.. think think....

Okay I got it! The other day I heard someone say that we are living two lives at the same time. What?? You ask.

He (I can't remember who sorry...) said that we are living in our thought life and we are living in our physical world. I thought this was pretty interesting. And I agree. How many of us are completely different in our thought life than we are in the physical world. Some of us, in our thought life, are confident, smart individuals who have a kick-ass wardrobe, millions of dollars that help contribute to the world, have won several humanitarian awards and is constantly being acknowledge by Oprah on Super Soul Sunday. 

I wonder who that is (wink wink).

But, when you open yours eyes, you see the complete opposite of the person you know you can be. 

So it got me thinking. 

How did each of us arrive at the physical life we are living, whether you're happy with it or not, the fact is, that you have the life you have simply due to a compilation of choices you have made. Each and every single decision/choice you made in your life has given you the life you have. (for better or worse). 

Stop right there! Because if I hear you correctly, I can already hear you blaming everyone else, but yourself. I urge you to take a moment to look within, and analyze what I'm saying. 

If you stop putting the blame on others you might be able to come to some sort of resolution,  therefore allowing your "thought life" to become your the life you see with your eyes open.

So if your thought life is more exciting than your physical life then my suggestion is to take one topic at a time and analyze it. Start with identifying what the problem is, and without blaming anyone else try to figure out what choices got you there. 

Now that you've identified the problem and why you arrived there, what do you want the part of your life to look like? Plan out what choices you will make that will deliver to you the life you've been thinking about.
I'll give you a quick example.  

Physical life (your life with your eyes open)
You find yourself unhappy with your job, but you are unable to leave because you don't have a college degree and therefore you think no one will hire you. 

Instead of blaming your circumstances for why you quit school, understand that quitting school or not returning to school was all up to you, no matter what the reason. If you're excuse is no money. Not good enough. If you say I can't, I have young kids. Not good enough. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. Which one are you making? Just think!!! 

Thought life (the stuff you daydream about)
You imagine yourself being a teacher. While at work, you picture yourself happy  knowing that you are molding the minds of tomorrow, you are fully satisfied in this career. 

If this is the life you want, then start making choices that will make it to where this is the life you see when you open your eyes. It's really that simple. 

Go for it, make the necessary changes that will bring your thought life, to your physical world!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well of course, I'm no exception, my blog this week will discuss what else, Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving for so many reasons: Spending time with my amazing family! The amazing food that my hubby cooks with love for all of us to enjoy! And, the fact that all across the country millions of us are actually taking a moment to give thanks!

If you're anything like me, I'm sure you are feeling a special feeling around this time of year, something makes you happy and you want to give or even volunteer your time to a charitable cause.

Something inside of me feels hopeful and joyous and excited and I don't want this feeling to end.

So I have a made a promise to myself that I will continue to do everything possible to remain in this state long after thanksgiving is gone. Once the reminders from places pleading for you to volunteer, or help in some monetary way, I will remember what it feels like to be there for others, to be of service, and to think of others instead of just myself.  It's an amazing and rewarding feeling.

But most of all, I will hold tightly to this feeling of gratitude for this amazing life God has blessed me with. I will rejoice in my family, tell them and show them how much I love them. I hope you have the opportunity to do the same. From my family to yours HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thanksgiving 2012

  

Till Next Time!

Time to Plan!

For those of you who are following my entries, sorry about missing last week; I had a difficult week at school and it sucked up all of my focus. So what is on my mind....

If you've read my last few entries they seem to have a theme and that is, I'm getting older and my young-ens are leaving me.  And, I'm not really handling it that well. 

But, I have to say, I feel so much better this week. I feel excited about the next chapter of my life and I am looking forward to the years ahead. With that being said, I want to touch on something I heard is good for all of us to do. Teacher after teacher recommend this be done, what is it you ask?  Plan!

As we come to the end of yet another year I will do what I've been taught, and that is, to plan the year ahead. In the past I've taken the approach of, "why bother planning it never works out," but you see, that's precisely why it never worked out for me, because of my expectancy of it not happening. 

But this year will be different, I will plan out everything from how many conferences I want to attend, to where and when I will take a vacation. Some of you may not understand the importance of me "planning a vacation" but trust me, planning something so far in advance and actually going through with it will be huge.

So give it a try, go to Target, (love Targe) get yourself a nice big planner/calendar and cuddle up on your couch with your favorite beverage

and start filling-in all the wonderful things you are going to do this up coming year. 

Once you're done you're going to feel so excited about the year ahead that I'm certain your most precious desires will manifest in the year 2014!

The big 4-0 Just a Number??

  Just a number???

Sure it is--in a way, but in another way it means much more to me. 

So yes, over the summer I had my 40th birthday and at the time I really didn't give it a lot of thought. It was just another number. After all, I didn't feel 40 so it didn't really matter to me. But now, a few months later I'm starting to analyze this whole 40 number. 

Lately I've been analyzing myself a lot, I've been trying to find myself. I know, I'm 40, I should know by now right??

But no, I don't. And I'm wondering, am I the only one? 

For me, personally, I believe it has to do with the fact that I started a family at 18 and therefore, had little time for self analysis. My life, thoughts and concerns were always placed on my family's needs, wants and desires, so now that I actually have the time for self reflection I'm not sure what to do with it. Too much thinking.

So for over 20 years my husband and I have been parents living the family life--carving pumpkins, trick-o-treating, going to the movies as a family, you know doing the family thing. And now that the kids are grown we find ourselves not really knowing what we should do on holidays like Halloween. So in an effort to be adults, not just parents, we went to a Jazz Festival in our town and what happened there really shocked me. Put it this way, I was crying on my way home.

Ok, so this is the scene at the festival, a bunch of adults hanging out having a good time with their friends, most with a glass of wine or a beer in hand . Others dancing, dining, just having a good ole time. And all I could think about was how much that wasn't my scene. I didn't want to be there amongst these adults drinking and dancing.

I just wanted to go home and do what I've always done-- hang out with my family.

But then, thanks to my husband's wise words I recovered from the madness . He suggested that in this new chapter of our lives we don't have to become people we are not. You see, we've never been the clubbing, drinking, partying types, so why start now. We don't have to change the things we like just because our kids aren't part of the "everyday" decisions.

So what to do:

1. We like being home, so be home... maybe have our friends over. Now that I'd like!
2. We like going to the movies-- so we'll do that :)
3. Explore new things.  And we won't force ourselves to do things we already know we don't like. (i.e. clubs)

So what's the lesson? The lesson is that no matter what chapter of life you find yourself in, chances are that you might experience some sort of change, but this doesn't have to be a bad thing.  All you have to do is be optimistic about what's ahead. But, most important, do the things you like, don't force yourself to be what you think the world expects you to be or be doing. 

Till next time :)

How to Stop Worrying!

Stop thinking only of yourself! Do for others!  You've heard it said more than a few times, right?

But I must confess, this is so hard. Not that I don't care for others, the environment, important causes and so on and so on but... I'm so overly distracted by my own needs that I forget to do the very thing that ensures I will move far away from my problems.

So how to do it? You just do it. 

Every single time you start to worry about ANYTHING, shift your focus!  I mean, even as simple as getting up and doing something for your husband, for you kids, for your mom, for a friend. That alone will move you from a place of "self" right into a place of "service."

Maybe at the beginning it will seem a little fake and a bit pushed, but this is what the experts say we must do in order to free ourselves of worry and/or push our goals into fast gear.

They--the experts, say that one once you take the focus off yourself and you put it on others, in helping them in some way, it magically fuels your goals/desires to super speed.

Rhonda Byrne puts it this way, think of your dreams, goals or desires as a rocket, however, a rocket can't go anywhere without "fuel."

Well, when you serve and/or do for others that's the fuel that launches your desires into action, and therefore, manifestation happens at rapid speed.

So let's do this, lets try it. The next time we are stressed over anything, lets take the focus off of us, and immediately put it on someone else, and lets see what happens. It's a win-win. You will stop worrying and at the same time you are helping someone else.

If you like, you can leave me a comment on what your results were.

Till next time!

Now What? What to do now that the kids are gone?

What to do now that the kids are gone? Do you ever ask yourself this question? 

Recently it's been on my mind. Although I'm not exactly an empty-nester-- yet, I'm real darn close and it's kinda sad.

For the last 21 years our entire life has revolved around our kids, and now that they're all grown up, it's really hard to let go. But I do find comfort in one thing, which is why I'm writing this post today. I want to remind all you parents who still have little ones, or are planning on having kids, to make sure you do the following.

1. Enjoy every minute you have with your kids, spend time with them and really be present in the moment. We always did this, and I think this is why I have no regrets. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I really did enjoy every minute of their lives from birth to today. 

2. Don't forget about yourself though.

Yeah.  Be a great mom or dad, be there always! But, don't forget about the woman or man that you are. You are far more than just a mother or father. If you forget about yourself, and revolve your entire life around your kid's next event, when they no longer need you, it will hit you like a rock! And trust me, the day will come when they have their own car and they will drive to football practice, dance class, or whatever activity you raised them in. 

Anyway, I think the point is to have balance right? Balance is really the ruler of our lives. If you look at any part of your life where you seem to have some success is because you have found some balance.

Till next time,
Your almost empty-nester!

Do you live in "Some Day I'll" land?

How many times have you been confronted with something that stirs your soul; confronted with something that brings you pure joy? But then, "reality" sets in and you say to yourself, someday I'll...

And that's where it stays, in Someday Isle Land.

You've heard the saying don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today, well, I couldn't agree more. We are all under this false pretense that we have all the time in the world when in reality all you have is this moment, right here, right now.

If you don't take action to move toward that "thing" that you want, you will never get there. But I don't know where to start, you say, or I don't have the money. 

Let's say your ultimate goal is to visit Greece but you think it’s impossible because you have no money, however, you eat out three times a day, every day!

Let me give you my opinion on how you can get closer and eventually achieve your "someday I'll" dream… (I hope you can apply it to your situation)

Ultimate goal:

First, write it down, "I want to visit Greece a year from today," or next summer, next winter, next spring whatever works for you.

Monthly goal:

Second, decide what you’re going to do in the next month to get you closer to the "ultimate" goal.  Let’s say you want to have $400 saved by the end of the month.  

Weekly goal:

Third, chunk your monthly goal into a weekly goal. What will you do weekly to make sure your monthly goal is met? In other words how will you get to your $400? Let’s say that for the next month you will only eat out for dinners.

Daily goal:

Fourth, chunk it down even more. What will you do daily to make sure your weekly goal is accomplished. Let’s say you commit to packing your breakfast and lunch every day.

Tip: Don't be vague, really pin point what you're going to do and how you’re going to do it. Don't be afraid to commit to something. Once you commit you will see how fast you start moving toward your goal.

I suggest to make it fun you can start a vision board. It’s simple, go to Pinterest and start a board called my trip to Greece, or whatever... and start pinning all the things you want to see and do on your trip, what you're going to wear, what you would like to eat, etc...

This goes for any goal you have, you just have to decide what you want and make a plan on how you're going to get it. 

Let me remind you once again of a "tip" that I find is most important, be specific when setting your monthly and weekly goals. Don't be afraid to set goals because you think you won't reach them. YOU WILL reach them. If you want this "thing" bad enough, reaching your weekly and monthly goals will not seem like a chore or a challenge but rather they will excite you and give you clear direction on how to get closer to your ultimate goal. 

I promise you that with these small changes you will reach your goal and it will be one less dream living in Someday Isle Land.

Till next time :)

I DIDN'T DIE

This may become a trend, I'm not sure, but this is what I love right now. What the heck am I talking about you ask?? I'm talking about Oprah's Supersoul Sunday guests--love them.

Coincidentally, her featured guest had shown up on my radar about two weeks ago and I was determined to buy his book. But then, I got sidetracked and I didn't get it. But leave it to the world to nudge me again, and so he showed up on Supersoul Sunday. I'm referring to Steven Pressfield.

He spoke about lots of amazing things, however, I will touch upon one topic that slapped me in the face.

He spoke about Resistance. Resistance is what happens when you try to move from a lower level to a higher level. In other words when you've decided enough is enough, I want a change, and in that moment you decide on all the great things you're going to do. You write out a detailed plan of exactly how you're going to better yourself, THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS that interferes with every single thing you've just written out. That my friends is Resistance, and it is THEN when you MUST KEEP GOING, because it is THEN when you will OBTAIN the very change you're seeking for.

I'll give you a quick example. One of my biggest blocks in my life is the fear of public speaking.

Yeah.. ironic since I am a writer and I have this little blog here and I hope to someday be able to bring my message to the masses in person, on stage, around the world. So you see how a fear of public speaking could really be an obstacle in my life.

Anyway, I recently decided to go back to school, and get a degree in creative writing, but because of some unforeseen problems, I had to register late and the classes that were open were very scarce. But, I was determined to start this semester. In addition, I'm under some really strict rules by the school that I cannot fail any classes or I will lose my funding. So in search of classes I found that the only classes available were three classes that required me to TO SPEAK IN FRONT OF THE CLASS. Can you believe it!!! Not one class, but all three.  Now what to do?? Here were my options.

1. Die
2. Don't start school
3. Just do it

I decided dying was not really going to work for me, so I decided to just DO IT... and yesterday was my first day back in school after 10 years...

Thank you, thank you.

But what was even better, was that for the first time in my life I had a completely different approach to this public speaking business. I eliminated any negative talk AND I didn't envision a terrible outcome at the end of my speaking. Instead, I VOLUNTEERED to SPEAK FIRST IN BOTH CLASSES. (I have the third class today) That's right! I pushed through the Resistance because I have a big goal and I won't stop til I reach it. The more I push through and get through every uncomfortable speaking situation is a step closer to my goal.

So once again, here I go encouraging you to go outside your comfort zone because what you call "your comfort zone" is what's keeping you from fulfilling your souls true calling in life. Steven Pressfield says something like this, if you could live your life according to the dictates of your soul then your life would be completely different than what it is today.  Ponder that for while.

Here's the link to purchase his book: The War of Art- By Steven Pressfield on Amazon

If you want to hear it straight from Mr. Pressfield himself go to: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Steven-Pressfield-Discusses-the-Things-We-Resist-Most-in-Life-Video

Till next time :)

The Most Terrifying Feeling!

I've been wanting to blog about this for two weeks now, but I've been struggling with relaying the message correctly. 

It's a must that this message is delivered accurately because I know a lot of us struggle with this. Therefore, instead of paraphrasing this important message I thought it would be better to post the 5 minute link that explains what happens when we experience joy and then immediately after picture something awful happening. 

Don't just exit out without clicking the link. Don't dismiss this message. It will change your life!
When you're done watching come on back. We'll Discuss it. Dr. Brené Brown on Joy: It's Terrifying

So????? Amazing right! I don't know about you, but this behavior governs my life. Knowing that I'm not the only one makes me feel so much better, it lets me know that I'm not so crazy....

I hope going forward you practice what she told us. Lean into those moments of joy feeling even more grateful, and DON'T fear that somehow something terrible is about to happen because you're SOOOO happy. It's ok to be happy, to be thankful for your kids, your health, your husband, your money. Just because you find yourself feeling "lucky" because you've been blessed doesn't mean that now you're going to somehow be punished.  

I now know this way of thinking can be avoided by simply leaning into the moments of joy and by giving thanks for whatever I'm feeling joyful about. And most of all, DON'T dress rehearse the tragedy because it doesn't protect or serve me in any way!

I hope this helped you in some way, because it was life changing for me!

Till next time!